My psychiatrist says I am a miracle. He told me that during our last appointment; that he's so pleased and happy that I am somehow still alive, and not only alive, but flourishing. I think it has a lot to do with this blog. I was thinking about why I don't blog as much (and part of it is because I am really busy working a full-time job, a side-business, and getting ready for my wedding). I essentially narrowed it down to the fact that I don't need my blog to keep me going anymore. See, before I started to get better, I would keep going because I knew I had to write something the next day. I would plan what I would write about, and giving myself a "job" per se, kept me slightly motivated to get through the day. (I'm not sure if any of that made sense).
These days I am lighter, happier, and people close to me say the "old me" is making her appearance (for good, I think). I am able to go to work every day, have my photography business, and somehow manage to have a little time, energy, and love to share with others. It's a beautiful thing. Sometimes I didn't think I would ever get my life back. I'm not saying I don't have my bad days, because I do. I certainly have a lot of issues to work through, but I can see the light at the end of this very long, dark, and angry tunnel. I'm gonna make it.
Pleasure: Today I had my wedding dress fitting, and ate ice cream for dinner.
Pray: Today I prayed for my family.
Love: Today I drove my mom home because she didn't feel well.
P.S. I haven't had a panic attack in a week and a half. I didn't even have one at my bridal shower even though there were lots of people and at some points I felt overwhelmed (my bridal shower was totally amazing by the way. I have wonderful, talented, and giving family and friends- see them below? I love each and every one of them).
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