The moment I woke up today, I knew it was going to be a hard day. Today, I had planned a late morning chat with my pastor's wonderful wife, Melanie. Our talk was a great relief for me, I didn't necessarily expect that (not because I was scared of her or anything; just my fear of being judged by others for what I am going through). My soul felt so refreshed and ready to take on what I had been dreading for some time now after hearing her wise and compassionate words (I'm getting to that later in this post). She reminds me so much of the person I was before I got sick (when I am whole and not broken inside). I knew the first time I met her, that we just clicked, and now I know it was for good reason.
This afternoon, I quit my job. I cannot say exactly why, other than that it has been hindering my healing process (I haven't been back to work regularly since May). I spent much time in prayer before making the decision to leave my job. I felt trapped by it in because I owed them for tuition assistance (they gave me a certain amount of money toward my college bill, as long as I promised to work and pay it back in work hours; like a dollar for every hour, I thnk). The meeting with my boss went easier than planned (probably because she is so so so wonderful, and I am still in so much pain that I can't cry, so there were no emotional tears to deal with). My boss was kind and understanding, which I knew she would be. She even helped me locate the person to speak with about my tuition. I am still not sure how, but I ended up not oweing my job any money for tuition assistance. I honestly thought I was going to owe them around $3000 before I could quit my job, but I don't owe a penny. That, my friends, is God.
Pleasure: Today I snapped a few photos of my pastor's 2 youngest children. You know photography is my love.
Pray: Today I prayed for my dad (and if you wouldn't mind, please send up a prayer for him too). He is going through a difficult time right now in dealing with me, and I pray for peace for his soul.
Love: Today I folded a basket of laundry for my pastor's wife. Not only does she have 5 young children, but she is also a pastor's wife. She is one busy lady (but a wonderful lady). I am so thankful for her talking with me today. Her words, recommendations, listening ear, and passages of Scripture helped prepare me for my day, and the rest of the journey to my recovery.
Thank you, friends, for everything you've been doing for me, even if it's just letting me take a long nap (thanks, Mikey). I love and pray for every one of you (even if I don't say it on my blog). ;)
Plans for tomorrow:
-Do my little brother's laundry and see my mom's pups (I miss them. The pups, not the laundry!)
-Maybe meet with my advisor about taking the semester off
-Talk to business and financial aid office
-Go to the gym
-Coffee with Mikey
-Maybe a little photoshoot :)
Random/strange (unless you really know me) sidenote: I found this midwifery blog that I often read a long time ago, and I have recommended certain blogs Molly has written to different people. People ask me frequently, "hy midwifery, why birth? Pregnant women are moody, swollen, and birth is gross, painful, and messy." I see it all as captivating, beautiful, and natural, and maybe this is why: because one day I can make a difference in many people's lives. I've never read anything that sums up why I want to be a midwife one day and help the female population, but Molly (the blog writer) wrote extraordinary readons for "Why Do I Care About Birth?" and I totally agreee. See link here.
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